This Game Is Easy If All You Roll Are 20s

Adventure Log by Arxaggus Add comments

Having fully organized the Assessor’s Office and found a map of the surrounding area that I’ve used to correct errors on me own map, Elios was fit and ready for another adventure into Dragon’s Delve.

Upon arrival we were greeted by the sounds of hammering and sawing from just inside the entrance. Xanytha crept down the steps to scout and discovered a pair of orcs and a pair of goblins erecting a large wooden door at the main entryway leading towards Glarias’ pool and altar. Not wanting to waste time with them, we took the right-hand path. However, one of the goblins thought it a good idea to pick a fight and leaped at us, shrieking something about the bestial horde. Needless to say, he was chopped down right quick. The remaining three door-builders immediately shut their freshly-built barrier. Elios suggested we clog that doorway with boulders, much the same way we did the magic blue door a month or two ago. The very first rock I tumbled down the stairs smashed right through their new door, provoking cries of rage and frustration from the dark halls ahead. Within moments, a pair of ogres joined their orcish friends and attacked us from the side hallways. No longer a threat by now, I cut down both giants and Drom and I split killing blows on the green-skinned orcs. I wonder how many messages these creatures will require before they don’t mess with us anymore. The threat squelched, we went about our business.

First on the long list of things to do there was bring some fresh meat and liquor to the old human Chasmal. His mysterious contact in town, Elena, insisted that we bring her to him, but he very explicitly told us not to. No matter, he wasn’t at home when we came knocking. We left the pint of sour mash whiskey and crates of fresh beef and mutton for him as Elios fiddled with the bronze statue out in the hallway. Poking at its eyes one at a time resulted in several miniature bolts of lighting that struck both Elios and Alexander. Pushing both eyes simultaneously revealed another hidden door, behind which was a small, empty room with a giant lock on the far door. Stepping towards the lock to open it, Elios discoverd  the second half of the floor threatened to give way under him, and he sprang back immediately. Xanytha suggested we toss an orc corpse on the floor to see what might happen, and sure enough the entire far half of the floor collapsed, revealing giant rusty spikes thirty feet below.

I used me glaive to smash open the far lock, then pushed open that door and discovered two more on the far end. Using me long reach, I broke both of those locks, then went above ground to chop down a tree to use as a footbridge across the chasm. After much hilarity watching me attempt to balance me fat feet on the uneven tree trunk, we eventually got the far doors open and found a small, square room with concentric circles on the floor and a gleaming golden ring hovering about in the center. Words spoke to us in Elvish: “not a sound…well, perhaps just one.” Xanytha stepped lightly into the first circle, and the sound of her footfall amplified and reverberated in the entire chamber, inflicting horrible ear-splitting pains upon her. After a great deal of argument and frustration on me part, Elios…

rolled a 20

…and snuck up to the center and snatched the ring. The thing had a blue gem in it, and was very obviously magical. Focusing on it for a few seconds, Elios managed to summon a dog from nothingness. Curious, I thought, but not very useful. Let’s hope it proves more powerful in the future.

We returned to the eyeball-door room, the one that speaks in riddles. Arpunia walked right up to it and shouted several dozen random words at it…”darkness” succeeded in solving the riddle and opening the doors. Inside was a custom-built lantern fitted with just the right slots in which to place the four lantern screens we had found previously. Outfitting the lantern, the screens cast shadows on the wall, forming a map revealing the path to level two…something we had already discovered for ourselves.

Our very very last stop on level one was fetching the jugs that that curious purple ooze was reaching towards. Smashing the jugs one by one, the ooze combined with the reagents therein and succeeded in…destroying itself. Very confusing. We continued, finally, on to level two.

Taking the left pathway from where level two begins, we immediately came across a small pit we were forced to climb down and through to reach the other side. Drom and I were the first across. Meanwhile, four gnolls had spotted Elios peek his head around a corner and were roused from their den. They attacked the party from behind. Fortunately, Arpunia was in the perfect place to deal with them as the two dwarves sought for a connecting tunnel on the far side. I turned a corner and discovered a well-geared orc standing there, foaming at the mouth, ready for battle.

The angry orc leapt at me haphazardly and I got in a hit with me great sword before he closed in melee. Drom and I took a couple of very big hits from the orc’s great axe; the weapon seemed to ignore our armor entirely. Fortunately the orc wasn’t as tough as the two of us, and in a few seconds he collapsed at our feet. Meanwhile, Arpunia and the rest of the gang had dispatched the gnolls and caught up with us. The orc was well-equipped: he possessed some enchanted light armor, which Alex took. I added his great axe to me arsenal of weaponry. And his jeweled bracer sold nice at the marketplace. He also had a scroll on him with some instructions on how to move safely through that tumbling spike room back on level one; it seems he’s been moving about with impunity. Also, in that curious pit room, Alex found a chest with a great deal of scrolls containing information on the nature of this level: apparently there’s a magical fountain somewhere.

The next room was a ruined kitchen; here we found three terrified goblins sifting through the rubble. The only useful information we got out of them was that the orc we killed was none other than Ramscorn, whom we heard about previously and was supposedly bent on conquering the whole of the first level. Well, those plans are kaput!

Turning the next corner, I was immediately zapped with some kind of magic; fortunately, me dwarven fortitude prevented whatever charms the spell was designed for. A hideous eye-golem stood there, blocking a large staircase downward. I swung me new magic axe as hard as I could and succeeded in chopping the thing neatly in half. The giant eyeball defeated, we took the staircase downward, and discovered level three!

Heading down into the darkness, the air grew somewhat fresher and noticeably moister. There was water down here somewhere. We didn’t reach the end of the staircase without problems, though, as a pair of giant blue-skinned beasties attacked us. Elios identified them as Merrow, some kind of aquatic man-fish. They hurled javelins at us and cut up Drom, who was on point, a bit with their giant longspears. The first died quickly to meself, Drom, and Arpunia. Alex leaped off the stairs and landed prone under the second, then was forced to flee or be crushed under its girth after Xanytha and Arpunia killed that one as well.

The entry room to level three presented us with two doors: one with a symbol of a fish head carved into it, the other inlaid with what looked like a stick with wavy lines. We chose to go right, through the door with the stick on it. We were greeted with an entirely new environment. Rather than worked stone, this level is a natural cave, its walls lined from floor to ceiling with colored fungus. The first chamber possessed an oddity: the corpse of a male half-elf, pinned to a large stone with a spike. I pulled the spike out, immediately realizing it was made from cold iron. Without warning, the corpse animated and clawed at Elios. Surprisingly, the its claws struck with electric intensity, though several well-placed weapon blows destroyed the thing.

The next chamber’s walls were lined with a particular species of fungus; Elios called it purple haze. Apparently it’s some kind of hallucinogen, though I think dwarves are immune to its effects. The next several hours would prove humorous.

During the act of collecting this haze fungus (Elios said it was worth money), the floor collapsed right under me feet, sending Elios, Alex, and I into the room below. A violet fungus plant clawed at me with its vine-like appendage, but couldn’t break through me armor. Alex cut the squishy thing in two, then we climbed out of the hole.

Elios gave me a concerned look, then mumbled something about the fungus being a friend. When I asked him for clarification (more like a loud “what?”) he insisted upon berating me for murdering a party member. Confused, I looked back at the rest of me mates for help, but instead I found Alex crying loudly for Drom; apparently he couldn’t see him and had convinced himself the dwarf was dead. Drom stood there, laughing his ass off, as Alex drew a picture of a tombstone on the rock wall in chalk and wrote Drom’s name, spelled incorrectly, in it. Fortunately, after a few minutes, the effect passed and the two humans were restored to their usual states of mind.

We continued south and found another chamber lined with that psychedelic fungus. Xanytha spotted a message, written in chalk, on the wall: “look up.” Alex climbed up a small ledge and discovered an odd symbol, glowing faintly, inscribed on the rock ceiling. Elios was thrilled to discover what he called one of the “twelve secret sigils.” Apparently this is some evidence of the Mages Four. I honestly don’t understand it all, but I do know it has some great meaning.

Anyway, the end of this passage featured several dwarf corpses half-buried in rubble. It looked like they were mining and neglected to reinforce the tunnel’s walls and paid the ultimate price for it. They left behind a small treasure: an enchanted hand axe and a miner’s pick made from pure adamantite. Drom and I got the idea to continue their digging; some investigation is in order, and we want to know how deep they got. So we dig…and dig…and dig, for hours, clearing away what had caved in. Meanwhile, Elios and the rest of the crew again take a journey to another mind realm on the purple fungus, and fight an imaginary cave lion. Eventually we reached the end, after a solid five hours of digging. The old dwarves didn’t succeed in breaking through anywhere, but we felt they were close. Perhaps more digging is in order in future weeks or months.

Heading back the other way to unexplored chambers, we heard faint crying echoing in the distance. Upon investigation, we discovered a Vesh, another type of subterranean humanoid, lying injured on the ground. As Elios moved to help it, he was attacked by a gargoyle from above. Normally such a beast would have proved difficult to destroy, as its hide is protected against most normal weapons. However, me great axe and Arpunia’s brand new hand axe sliced cleanly through its flesh and the attacker collapsed into the fungus-covered floor. The wounded Vesh fled off through the tunnels, rejoining more of its watery kin, who gurgle-growled at us but otherwise didn’t prove hostile to us.

Continuing on, we found another chamber with a large chasm in it. We tied ourselves together and I removed me armor, much like we did earlier that night, to balance across safely. Elios, though, tumbled down the rocky gap and landed flat on another corpse, which promptly belched a cloud of black spores in his face. We pull Elios out and let him rest for a moment as this new batch of hallucinogens worked its way through his brain. I wound up needing more time than he did, as I repeatedly failed to keep me balance across, even without me heavy armor on. To make matters worse, the other armored dwarf danced cleanly across the gap, in full armor.

Eventually we reached the other end and came across a dead-end, the chamber featuring a large black obelisk covered in tentacles and pseudopods. Also here were three dark Satyrs, a type of fey, now corrupted by this place. Despite one trying to do something to us with its enchanted pipes, the three goat-men didn’t threaten us in battle. Alex, Arpunia, and I each claimed killing blows.

Using me long arms and longer weapon, I hacked at the obelisk until it stopped moving. I’m glad none of us let it touch them; there was something evil about it. Inside the object we discovered ten magical gems. According to Elios, we can use them to either summon a Satyr to our aid, or place one inside a weapon to change its properties to cold iron, very useful against fighting other fey.

During the course of the game session, Mike rolled no less than ten 20s on just about everything: initiative, attack rolls, skill checks, saving throws. We didn’t start counting until it became ridiculous. While not part of the play-by-play, his feat is still prominent enough to have the write-up named for it.

Another note: this write-up shattered the old record for number of tags: it has fourteen.

Tonight's Cast:
Captain Arxaggus "Ox" Dunnbuldanngen, Dwarven Myrmidon - Tristan
Elios "The Cat", Human Hunter / Man-at-Arms - Paul
Xanytha, Elven Archer - Heather
Drom Fragula III, Dwarven Weapon Master / Berserker - Jeff
Arpunia, Human Executioner / Woman-at-Arms - Eric
DM - Russ
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One Response to “This Game Is Easy If All You Roll Are 20s”

  1. DM - Russ says: |

    Ogre dungeon guards (CR 3)
    Orc dungeon guards (CR 1/2)
    Vault of the Ring pit trap (CR 4)
    Bullrushing Knolls (CR 1) x 4
    Ramscorn (CR 3)
    Orc w/ Ramscorn (CR 2)
    Kitchen goblins (CR 1/3)
    Eye golem (CR 2)
    Merrow stair guards (CR 3)
    Alghul Aeranis’s skeleton (CR 2)
    Fungal Pit (CR 2)
    Violet Fungus (CR 3)
    Cave Lion (CR 3)
    Gargoyle (CR 4)
    Satyrs at Witching Stone (CR 2)
    Satyr with pipes (CR 4)

    Elios (level 3) – 1396
    Drom (level 3) – 1396
    Xanytha (level 3) – 1396
    Arpunia (level 3) – 1396
    Alex (level 3) – 1396
    Arxaggus (level 6) – 1008

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